I wasn’t planning to be a mom, definitely never thought of myself as mom material. After a few months apart, I had my ex come over to reminisce at my new place. I clearly wasn’t moving on from him, I kept having him over for dinner and movies. Suddenly I started noticing that my breasts were tender. I had just broken up with him for being too immature, and suddenly I’m pregnant with his child. I haven’t always made the best decisions. Deciding to keep my baby girl, was the best one I’ve ever made, and the beginning of my life changing for the better.
I had been in a serious relationship for 5 years. It was rocky at best, but he loved me. I wasn’t easy to be with and never had a good role model for healthy relationships. I thought if someone could put up with me, it must be love. He brought a lot of good to my life, showed me a better way to live and gave me many wonderful new experiences.
His family always included me and showed me how a family should care for each other. They bought gifts for and celebrated every single holiday, even my birthday!! This is the first time I’ve ever experienced a healthy family dynamic. I was resistant at first, but I quickly warmed up to the thought of having the perfect family life.
I was ready to be a mom on my own and do it all alone, I knew I had to have this baby! We soon agreed it would be best to move in together and start a family. He wasn’t ready for a family, but at our age, how could we not try!? He had a 3000sqft home in an affluent neighborhood, with a 2 car garage, beautiful screened in porch and yard. The perfect place to start.
I got to have 2 baby showers, one in VA where we lived and one in PA where my family was. She was the only grandchild in his family, so she became the center of their lives. We were so prepared, our baby had everything she needed, before she even took a breath of air. I have never felt as loved as I did then. My life was set, seems perfect doesn’t it!? Well stay tuned…
My pregnancy was awful, I was miserable every day. I could barely eat anything without being sick, it was not pleasant at all. I was angry at my mom and sister, because they weren’t around for me. I didn’t have any real emotional support, I was going through it all alone. He and I had more than a few arguments and rarely agreed on how things should be. My emotions were all over the place and I was in so much pain, I couldn’t sleep.
My little girl finally came and she was perfect. I immediately forgot all the pain and misery. I forgot the twenty four hours I waited after being induced and the forty five minutes I pushed to get her out of me. How the nurse kept lying and saying, “just one more push”, I wanted to kill her! My life finally had a purpose and she was it. Veronica Abigale Schmucker, seven pounds and eleven inches. My 7-11 baby.
This is when I changed forever. I was selfish, careless and lost and even now I sometimes feel that way. The difference is, I’m always learning and constantly evolving. The only thing I knew for sure after pregnancy, was that I would never do that again! Thankfully, she was all I ever needed.
NikiStuff 