Online Dating Hacks

Socializing now is so many things; terrifying, mysterious, frustrating and exciting. After experiencing online dating for one year, I’ve found some ways to get through this with minimal time wasted. I’m sharing this with you, so you don’t have to waste an entire year, trying to figure this strange new dating thing out.

Only use the paid dating sites if you’re looking for real connections. Skip profiles that lack anything, such as pictures, what they’re looking for or descriptions. They didn’t take their time trying to win anyone over, so they’re probably going to waste yours. Make sure they’re looking for the same things you are. If they ask you if you’re ok with something, be sure you are completely ok, because they’re asking for a reason.

If they immediately ask for your number, it’s always because they want to be inappropriate in one way or another. I learned not to give out my number until a date is set or share my address, until after a few dates. This prevents unwanted calls or visits. They will keep testing you, until you tell them it’s harassment. It’s important that you trust your instincts and whenever possible, try not to let it get that far.

Personally, I pick who I like and then I let them message me first. I like to see if they even have anything to say. If all I get is a Hey or Hi, they don’t deserve a reply. It’s not possible to respond to every message, there are way too many, and I have limited time being a single mom. Every minute on the app takes away from time with my kid or other important duties. My free time is the most valuable thing I have to give. Don’t feel like you need to either, but if you have the time and would like to respond, feel free.

Don’t be afraid to meet, you started this search for a reason. Make your first meeting somewhere in public where you feel safe. It doesn’t have to be a meal, better to have a quick first date, just in case it’s not great. Be wary of those who make big promises or boast a lot about what they have. They’re either lying, trying to buy your time or just overcompensating for something else. Don’t trust it, honesty is always best, just not as exciting. Never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or ever feel like you owe anyone anything. It’s your dating experience to do with as you please.

Most of all, have fun!! If anyone tries to stress you out, get acquainted with that block button! New relationships should be fun and easy, walk away from any negativity or toxic behavior. No one knows what you need, better than you! Henceforth with light and love 💖

Be more interested in how your life feels, than how it looks..

Please don’t wait as long as my stubborn ass to realize what’s important!!! That’s a sad empty road to nowhere. Those people are empty shells full of hypocrisy, who must put others down to make themselves feel superior! I don’t even try to pretend I’ve got it all together because no one really does anyway.

Accentuate your strengths, especially the unique ones, no one is good at everything, but there’s a perfect place for everyone. 💞 All my greatest friends lift each other up, even when they could put them down. 🙌 Now they’re the only friends that I have. 😁

Try saying “How did that happen and what can we do”, instead of “What did you do wrong this time?” I was so used to hearing the latter, I believed it was always my fault. It took me too long to realize that I didn’t have to live that way and I never will again!! 🙌💃

Just a simple example of how to stop toxic patterns that can ruin souls and even lives. Wake the fuck up because we are all responsible for our children and our children’s children. How they treat others, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW THEY TREAT THEMSELVES, comes from how we behave!!!! ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍🩷

Manifesting

You can make your life better, as a matter of fact, you are the one and only human that can! When you become more in touch with your own spirituality, you’re better able to manifest what’s best for you, at this time in your life!

The only way to truly get in touch with your own spirituality is to eliminate outside influence and only look within. Hey away take time to get to know yourself. No one else will ever know you, you will never be sure of who you are, unless you get to know yourself first!

Think about it, anything you work hard for you can have. If you speak it, believe it, live it and breathe it, you can manifest it. Manifest the life you want, only you can do it baby!

A Life I Built

I procrastinated, hoping someone would come along to help, thinking I may not have the skills to build this thing myself.
I made some mistakes and had to restart a few times but with all the patience and determination I had in me…
A life I built

Exhausted Empath

Empathy’s a double edged sword, isn’t it!?
For those whose lives revolve around their emotions, empathy takes over every action and decision. It tends to draw you to mystery and dangerously attracts you to unspoken darkness and pain.
Some of us were desensitized, raised to not care for others feelings above our own. Others were overly sensitized, to care for everyone above themselves. These are unhealthy extremes. Those who are raised in such environments are not aware of this and continue the cycle. Self awareness is the key to breaking an unhealthy cycle. The need to raise my own child in the healthiest way possible has been my only motivation to become more self aware. That’s one of many ways my child saved my life. Even still, this process took years of therapy and self discovery and countless repeated mistakes. Even now, I’m always learning and evolving.
I always believed that anyone can be reformed with the right amount of love and support. Sadly that’s not the case for everyone. Some humans are just not made to care or evolve.

Your apology is never coming.

Do not wait for remorse, hoping you didn’t give your heart to a sociopath. You’re wasting precious time. Yes there are people who have no sense of accountability. They never feel any guilt or remorse for their own actions. You think you know someone has a good heart, but you’re just being manipulated.

I heard the best description of gaslighting today, I’m improvising but it’s something like…

You know when your gas light comes on, you know you need gas, but then someone tells you… no you’re crazy you just think you need gas and they are the expert in gas and crazy and they are only telling you what to do to help you… but you know very well what’s going on with the gas light.

The best thing to do is surround yourself with support and block that negative insecure irrational person from your life forever. Otherwise they will work every moment of your life, to make you forget how they abused every part of yourself, that you gave them.